Parents, Your Tiredness Is an Opportunity

No parent likes to be tired. God created us to need rest to function and raise up our kids another day. A good night’s rest is a gift, and we see this more clearly when it’s lacking—and let’s be honest: For most parents, quality sleep is often lacking

When the nights are interrupted and the morning starts early, all I want is not to be tired. To feel like I can conquer what’s ahead. To greet the day with joy. Or, to use nap time to accomplish something, rather than give into my need and nap myself.

I’m often so busy fighting tiredness that I forget to look for what God may be doing in and through it. If he promises to work all things for our good, this extends even to our fatigue—so rather than seeing tiredness purely as an unwanted hindrance, we can seek the opportunity within it to look for God’s good purposes.

Five Opportunities Tiredness Gives Us

What might these be? Parents, your tiredness is an opportunity:

To seek God’s plan above your own

I’m never more aware of my desire to control things than when they spin out of control. This includes sleep. When I’m rested, I get the crazy idea that I’m in charge of my day. I carefully craft plans and am sure I’ll execute them. But not on tired days. On tired days, I’m barely getting by. I’m aware of my weaknesses, my needs. I see how my life is in God’s hands.

Tiredness awakens me to the reality that I’m not in control.

And this is a good thing, parents. Scripture says pride comes before destruction (Proverbs 16:18)—how often do we pridefully think “we’ve got this”? On tired days, we have an opportunity to taste reality: We’re desperately in need of God, our Sustainer, every moment and all the time. What an unexpected gift, to see clearly through the fog of fatigue!

Continue reading

Advertisements

Moms, It Is Our Privilege

On hard days of mothering, it’s easy to see it purely as a type of suffering, rather than a blessed privilege. And it is a type of suffering. Motherhood is tough. It requires us to give up our plans in favor of what our kids need most. It demands our preferences for theirs. It’s strenuous on our bodies as we carry babies and hoist toddlers, and it tests our hearts as we soak up tears, discipline in love, and spend ourselves for little immediate return.

Yes, motherhood is a form of suffering. But in the middle of its trials, when we’re exhausted and weary, we can quickly forget what a privilege it is––often at the same time as when it’s hardest.

Pictures of Jesus

As I rocked our infant daughter in the quiet of her room, the day’s trials melted in light of the moment. Wise words from a mentor came to mind: “Remember what a privilege it is to be the picture of Christ to her.”

What a privilege indeed.

Don’t we need to know this truth, mommas, when it seems we can’t catch a break? When our kids are demanding so much from us, and we aren’t sure we can give any more? When our patience runs low because our little one has pushed our buttons and tested our love?

Consider Him

We need to know who Jesus is—what he’s already done and what he’s doing right now. Then and only then, as his Spirit works in us, will we grasp what a privilege it is to reflect him as we mother.

Continue reading

On Mothering with Chronic Pain

Since being diagnosed with Lyme disease about four years ago, my body has been in a daily wrestling match with chronic pain. Some days are easier than others, but my pains are usually present in some degree. Though we have every reason to believe the Lyme is gone (praise God for modern medicine!), as my husband and I often say, “The war is won, but the city is ravaged.”

The disease left me weak, and my body has rebuilding to do.

Two years ago, my Lyme doctor gave us clearance to try to conceive. This clearance came after years of strong warnings against conception because the risks were too high. We rejoiced at this good news: My immune system was strong enough, and my body was healed enough, to try to have a child!

Yet—  

I didn’t know if I could be a mom. In fact, I shrunk back at the possibility. When we were contemplating our newfound freedom to pursue children, the thought struck fear in my heart: There’s no way I can be a mom. I can hardly manage our home or do my job without pain, let alone care for another human life.

How would I carry a baby, or hoist a car seat? How would I be able to keep up with an active child? Although the thought of growing our family biologically was incredibly exciting—the idea of motherhood paralyzed me.

Since that season two years ago, we’ve welcomed our daughter into our family. God, in his kindness, has provided all that I’ve needed to carry her, deliver her, and mother her in these early months. My health is significantly improved and I’ve found ways to manage my pain, but it hasn’t gone away; the addition of the literal, physical load of a baby has only presented new challenges and with them, new opportunities to trust God and mother in his strength.

Continue reading

10 Great Resources for New Moms

I became a mom to our beautiful baby girl last year.

Newborns are precious and wonderful. But the challenges that accompany them? Hard and wearying (though completely worth it). I quickly learned that a-lack-of-solid-sleep plus not-knowing-what-I’m-doing equals an emotional rollercoaster and therefore a great need to be well-resourced and rooted in God’s eternal truth.  

The following books, podcasts, and other resources greatly encouraged me through the season of new motherhood. Here are 10 suggestions to both nourish your soul and equip you as you get acquainted with your newborn:

1. Risen Motherhood

Risen Motherhood exists to encourage, equip and challenge moms to apply the gospel to their everyday lives. A 15-20 minute podcast started by two young moms, Risen Motherhood is delightful and practical. I love listening to this podcast when I’m driving, nursing, or picking up around the house. Between the co-hosts, Emily and Laura, there are eight kids, lots of momma-experience, and a great love for Jesus. The best parts of the podcast are their humility (they never claim to have it all together) and practical application of the gospel to motherhood and parenting.

2. New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional

Paul Tripp’s one-page daily devotional readings are full of street-level application of God’s grace. As new moms, we need the timeless realities of God’s Word to give us perspective when we’re tired, discouraged, bored, and frustrated. Tripp excels at helping his readers view all of life through the finished work of Jesus Christ: In him, we are approved by God, filled with the Spirit, freed from sin’s bondage and lies, and helped by his grace. I always come away from the day’s reading grasping more clearly how God desires to transform my heart, and this encourages me as I begin another day with my baby.

3. Walking with God in the Season of Motherhood: An Eleven-Week Devotional Bible Study

Author Melissa Kruger clearly had moms in mind as she wrote this Bible study. Not only is the content directed and relevant to moms of any stage, the format of her book is excellent for new moms: She includes each Bible passage within the book and space for journaling, meaning no extra tools to remember! I’ve been so helped by her ability to draw out biblical truth in a fresh way, and so comforted to know many moms have walked this road before me. Most of all, I’m reminded of how near God is to me through his Son, and that I can ask him to help me glorify and enjoy him each day of motherhood.

4. New Baby Survival Guide: Bite-Sized Bible Reading for New Mothers

The description for this book reads, “A new baby is a wonderful gift from the Lord, bringing great joy but also sleepless nights, constant laundry and, sometimes, total exhaustion. It can be hard to read your Bible and pray. These bite-sized Bible readings from the book of Psalms are designed for you to dip into and be refreshed by the Lord.” The authors Cassie Martin and Sarah Smart edify through their compact study of several Psalms and entertain through real-life anecdotes (I laughed out loud multiple times). I enjoyed reading each day’s passage and praying the closing prayers with our daughter.

5. Mom Enough: The Fearless Mother’s Heart and Hope

“This short book by eight women explores the daily trials and worries of motherhood….The paradox of this book is the secret power of godly mothering. Becoming mom enough comes as a result of answering the question, ‘Are you mom enough?’ with a firm no. Who knew the answer no could actually be empowering when our strength is rooted in Christ? These short readings on Christ-centered mothering are the perfect length for nursing sessions or naps and will deeply encourage your heart.

Read the rest of the article at iBelieve.

A Better Mom Is a Broken Mom

“Lord, help us sleep tonight so we can be better parents tomorrow for our daughter.”

I’ve prayed this prayer often lately. Not long ago, we had our first child, and sleep has become a challenge. But sleep isn’t the only thing that’s been difficult these days: I long to take a hot shower without having to rush, to read a book without being interrupted, and for some semblance of a routine.

Basically, I want to be in control. And when things don’t go my way, I struggle. I struggle because sleep makes me a better mom, doesn’t it? Doesn’t it?

Or does it?

These practicalities — sleep, showers, quiet — certainly aren’t evil in themselves; they’re good gifts from a Father who knows precisely when I need them. They’re gifts I should desire. But I often think these gifts by themselves will make me a better mom — a stronger, happier, more confident mom. For my daughter. For my husband. For God.

But my Heavenly Father knows there’s something better for me in himself, that “better” equals broken. It equals humility. Because brokenness — a vulnerable, desperate heart of dependence on Jesus — is what actually makes me a better mom.

Continue reading

An Open Letter to Myself: On Motherhood, Writing, and Identity in Christ

I wrote this as a print-out for our nursery, to keep close and read when weariness, fatigue, or a number of emotions hit during the first weeks and months of raising a newborn baby. I hope it might also encourage you, moms!


Dear Kristen,

You’re doing it. You’re fulfilling the work of ministry God has planned for you! He’s given you a wonderful gift in your new daughter, and though the days feel long and nights, even longer, this is precisely where he wants you. Right here in this nursery. You’re exactly where you should be.

As you navigate this new season of motherhood, remembering this and other truths will make the difference between running unhindered and running with weights and sins pulling you down (Hebrews 12:1). This is why I’m writing you this letter, not because I foresee all that will happen, but because I can anticipate your heart—I know your struggles, anxieties, and fears, and want to proactively preach God’s Word to you.

Continue reading